Q: Why did I wake up today...?
A: Just to see the sun go down....
Monday, September 6, 2010
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Friday, May 28, 2010
Another Dream Come True
Well today was the first full day I got to spend with my daughter Amya. She is so amazing in all her ways I cant even explain. Her laugh, smile, the way she sleeps, cries, and talk; it so wonderful to have my daughter in my arms. Its been like forever since I been with my child and now all the long days and nights of not having her will pay off. After all the drama her mother put me through it finally paid off.
My daughter was born Aug. 1st, 2007. During this time I wasnt there due to some issues of my condition and family. Ever since Amya was born; to me it felt as trouble just followed me everywhere I went.(Not just with my baby's mom) I pressed my way through it all. Yes I cried at nights and even felt like fighting just because. Amya is my angel and I love her so much since she was conceived. Now as time passes along and after the long wait I finally have what I wanted. She is in my arms as I type this small blog to viewers. I wont let her go for nothing. Out of all the dreams I grew up having, I know there is one that I can say Im proud to see it come true.
"Smile Mya cause Daddy loves you"
Dzy
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
That Noise
I heard a noise the other night while I was at home; that sounded so familiar. It hit me so hard that it stuck with me that next day as I went to work wondering where it came from. I thought about it for a long time; so hard that my head could have explode. Frustrated, I drove home soon after my work was done. I sat in my chair and just pondered on that sound which caught my attention. No TV., no radio, no cell phone; nothing to disrupt my thinking....
(Thinking)....
That noise...
That strange noise....
All I could think about where did it come from. Where was I when I heard it, what was I doing....
(Thinking).....
I was sitting here in this chair matter of fact I was sitting just like this balled up; sitting here thinking. I was thinking for a long time. I was thinking about my life; how I try to be the best I could be but I can't. I was thinking of my family; how they are suffering cause of me. I was thinking of my job; how everyone there despise me and looks down on me. My friends; how they betray me and stab me in my back. Thinking about me; how sorry I was.... What else could there be. (:- ( a soft cry is heard)... I hear it. I couldn't understand it but I hear it. It kept going on and on. This noise as louder as it got; sounds like pain. Sounds like a wounded animal why is it hurting. What causing this sorrow... Where is it coming from; Who is making this noise?!!!
(As The Crying Got Louder)
Who is it that's hurting so bad and why?
Slowly I walk to my bedroom drying off my face. I realize how wet my face was when I saw tears dripping from my hand. As I sat on my bed I thought to myself; who ever that was crying really needed to cry and let that out. So much pain within those tears would cause a breakdown. I start to lay down and cover myself in my blanket tightly. One question was stuck with me. So who was it built with so much pain that his tears over flowed and slowly curved down his face? I close my eyes cuz I didn't won't to see myself say it. I bit my tongue hoping that I could keep myself from letting it out. Soon after I gave in. I was tired of holding it in. I briskly opened my mouth and gently whispered my answer to this question that's been drilling into my mind.....
me.....
Sir. Dzy
Monday, February 8, 2010
The Missing Side of Me
I did it...
I finally have her...The one I searched for this whole time. The angel I longed for my entire life. She truly was.
"The Missing Side Of Me."
For years I wondered who was it out there that was meant for me. The one who could understand my needs. Who felt what I felt, that knows how to comfort me. The one who would pick me up when I'm down; instead of provoking me.
I needed that person cause were I was going in life I wanted to share it with someone special. The one who deserved my love and affection. The one who was made just right for me. The one I'm destined to be with.
"It was when I saw her; she took my breath away. It was when she touched me; she made my body feel relaxed covered with goose bumps. It was when she spoke, the only echo that I could hear was her own voice that channeled through my ears. It was when I felt her kiss....
That made my future meet my present, my present met my past, and my past met my future that cause time just to stop. That makes me realizing that I was no longer in the earthly realm cause were I was eternity existed.
She was the one, she is the one, and she will be the only one for me.
I found it...
What's keeping this gap from closing. What was creating a barricade between me and love. My key to forever.
She knew...
She knew what she was here for. She knew her purpose. She knew that out there's a real man waiting on her. She knew... She knew without a shadow of a doubt that our souls were meant to be jointed together in holy matrimony. Most of all she knew just as well as I did that she was my other half.
I found her... My star, my angel, my world, my life."
The Missing Side Of Me
Sir. Dzy
(Feedback)
I finally have her...The one I searched for this whole time. The angel I longed for my entire life. She truly was.
"The Missing Side Of Me."
For years I wondered who was it out there that was meant for me. The one who could understand my needs. Who felt what I felt, that knows how to comfort me. The one who would pick me up when I'm down; instead of provoking me.
I needed that person cause were I was going in life I wanted to share it with someone special. The one who deserved my love and affection. The one who was made just right for me. The one I'm destined to be with.
"It was when I saw her; she took my breath away. It was when she touched me; she made my body feel relaxed covered with goose bumps. It was when she spoke, the only echo that I could hear was her own voice that channeled through my ears. It was when I felt her kiss....
That made my future meet my present, my present met my past, and my past met my future that cause time just to stop. That makes me realizing that I was no longer in the earthly realm cause were I was eternity existed.
She was the one, she is the one, and she will be the only one for me.
I found it...
What's keeping this gap from closing. What was creating a barricade between me and love. My key to forever.
She knew...
She knew what she was here for. She knew her purpose. She knew that out there's a real man waiting on her. She knew... She knew without a shadow of a doubt that our souls were meant to be jointed together in holy matrimony. Most of all she knew just as well as I did that she was my other half.
I found her... My star, my angel, my world, my life."
The Missing Side Of Me
Sir. Dzy
(Feedback)
Friday, February 5, 2010
Everybody Else
Hey man there's a party at my friend's house tonight is it alright for you to go? Everybody else is goin to be there. Its friday night you know.
Dzy what's good? How's the party bro? I got that stuff in my bag that will make your eyes low. Hey man if Jeff gets high everybody else is gettin blowed.
Here have a drink with me sweet thing. Everybody else is doin it minus well do the same. Oh! Its alright; you can smoke and drink and still be cool look at everybody else.
Baby don't worry I understand its your first time; look at me and everybody else. Seems as we do this all the times. Just relax put your mind on me everybody else is havin a good time so let it be.
Yeah!! Let's keep this party goin let's go for a drive. Say what, huh, who cares everybody else got in there rides. Don't worry Dzy I'll take it light. I'll keep my eyes open I won't lose sight. I'm just having a good time just like everybody else. Yeah let's Go!!!!!
And that's exactly what he did. He got crazy and went wild just as well as everybody else did. Driving through the streets over shadow by the night. Doing stunts and tricks while drunk on a bike. Came across a curve that his headlight didn't let be seen. Flying through the air; then hit a tree; there's go his head with a jacked up spleen.
Now at the hospital were we see him lay. He stay there for a couple of days. Family debating on weather they should pull the plug and let him have a chance with the lord. Because of there insurance it couldn't pay no more. He lived a good life that's what everybody else said. But they would never know the things he privately did. I wish that he had one last chance to react some things he lived. Like forgetting about everybody else and what they did. He was my good friend but one with a hard head. I still remember when everybody else was crying when I told them he was dead.
That whole tragedy gave me an over view of my life and the things I didn't let be. It makes me proud to say everybody else suffered but me.
Dzy
Just For Me.
I can't tell you how long its been since the last time I was really happy. From losing everything from apartments, cars, money, even my own life to being just left out. Cause me to depart from this world far beyond space. Lost in time just floating around with nothing to grab hold to. Watching the days go by like paper being blown by the wind. Cloudy skies due to the sun that ran away. No rain or storm just dry air that cause skin to stick like glue. Life stood still like an artifact that does no more than collecting dust. Its was when I heard it. Words were translated and sounds were created to record and keep record of the feelings that were felt. My eyes sent signal to my brain which my brain sent signals back to my eyes telling them not to close or you will lose the sight that was given. My heart beats a slow melody set by scales that grew on my skin. It was the best moment of that day that started my new life. Touch down on earth Mr. Smith. This life is bless to be rebirth. Its my life given back from the creator. A life is all I wanted and in it I wanted to be happy. Finally something that belonged to me finally happen to me just for me.
Dzy
Dzy
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Just ME:
www.Facebook.com/rundzy
www.Twitter.com/Dr_Dzy
skype: Rundzy
These are.... FOREVER WORDS:
These words could never lie. There old but fresh brand new from him, bounce to me, now they fall on you. The words were spoken long time ago. When he hung his head at 33 years old. It was and still is the greatest thing that could ever happen to the son. Now that its 2010 still there is nothing new under the sun. Even though time has past isn't it amazing his love still last. Its what was said way before any of our time; even before you and my kind. Just think all this happen in one thought; than spoken into three words. In a blink of an eye. The globe, the sky, clouds were filled with all types birds. Waters from all over clash together just to make one sea. All because of those three words made it be. The light from glorious heaven made it seen that all the creation that was made was created into his theme. Into this kingdom this palace shared but his own; he put out his sweat, tears, and blood even brokens bones. I had a friend ask me why would a person put himself through so much just to gain so less. He didn't get no money, no cars, no houses, not even a woman to enjoy it with? Mm... I'd look at him and saw the opportunity to let my light shine even brighter. What a chance this was for these words to be lifted higher. Quickly before I'd open my mouth; I prayed God let it be your knowledge & wisdom flow through me just for your glory so this young man can know you better than just a story. Soon after I'd prayed. I'd started to telling him that first God is not man. 2nd there is no martials thing God could every gain because everything is his own. Even if you denied him your still the works of his creation. No houses was need because in his kingdom there are many mansion. What is the purpose of a car to him because he is already everywhere that the word existence is and even would exist. There is no need for him to be with a woman cuz when he comes back he will marry his church. But the ultimate reason why is; that he loves you so that the human mind can't bisect his ways. Each day his love is brand new and keeps me happy with a new praise. He told me that he will never forsake me in other words turn his back on me. If I'll follow him he'll put me where I ought to be. The first will be last and the last shall be first. The more & more he spoke the heavier my thirst. He told me he could never lie and his word will forever be with us. Even on that day he comes to save us. These word were spoken over 2000 years ago. It was the same than as of now plus the time we have left to go. His word are unchanging just as his ways. He is the same God back than, today, and always.
Messages of the King Spoken
Sir. Dzy
Dzy's Dict. of Words & Meanings
Aw: Used to express a jubilant emotion, mild disappointment, gentle entreaty, or real or mock sympathy or sentiment I called you the other day just to tell you how much I care. With the words I use to express my inner feelings; it showed you how one person with so much heart can truly benefit your life. I told you; by these hands I will hold and defend the most important object you carry. In these hands you placed your heart so with that; every inch of my soul will I will respect and protect this gift from heave with all means. After I to you this very one statement the only thing you could say is Awwwww! Drama: show, crisis, fuss, scene Drama is nothing more than a action displayed by a person due to a personal issue. When shared between two; the outcome is a never ending affect until one’s drama over rages the other. Once that happens; who is really the one hurting. Dzy Soul: spirit, (God’s breath), character You ask me to make a sacrifice daily but what can I give you that you don’t already have. I’m at the altar daily but what can I give that you will value. You said my money is not enough. You said my property isn’t big enough but I own land and every state. What is it that you want from me…… Your soul….. Dzy Faithful: true, believe, loyal, devoted I gave my life to you and all you asked was that I stand by your side. Day 1 you told me to walk left and so I did. Day 2, you told me to walk right and so I did. Day 3, you said walk straight so I continue to walk upright and not looking back at day 1. All this time you blessed me just to continue walking in your glory. You showed me that everything that I used to worry about past away. It doesn’t matter what you tell me to do because every step I’ll stay faithful to you. Dzy Puzzle: a problem difficult to solve or resolve challenging mentally I watch this world fall out of place with a puzzle look on my face. These situations we're dealing with are very challenging for each individual to deal with (for those who are on their own). Mentally we struggle day to day to make the right move due to the position our government is in. Piece by piece we part this puzzle together looking to view an image of the world at its full potential but puzzled we stand still wondering when the next piece will bring us peace. Dzy
Embrace:
to clasp, to enclose (hug), Acceptance we’re in a world were embracing each other is a big time need. At this very moment someone who was on top is now on the bottom and is fighting to overcome. What other way can we help this man or women by embracing not just them but the situation as well. We were put here as one body. If I can't hold an item with one hand allow me to use both to uplift the item. If we can enclose the world’s issues together then all will be well. Embrace the moment now before the moment EMBRACES you... Dzy Grace: elegance, kindness, blessing Just when I opened my eyes this morning, a gift that was giving yesterday became new to me. Early in the morning I heard the birds sing a sweet melody of praise. I’d walked outside and saw the beauty of the sun claiming over the clouds. I felt the breeze blow across my face while the trees move with the wind. I stand in this one spot and feel the morning dew hit my ear from the rooftop of my house. I walk back into the house and suddenly I taste the satisfying smell of pancakes (sorry fat moment) and I really notice that all my senses well still working. What more was needed to say to confirm the grace that I had awaken to. Dzy Complex: difficult, complicated, compound I sit looking at a picture of an old memory and only two questions sits with me. The first question asked, what was life like before this picture? Easy I’d thought this answer would be but difficult for me to reply. The second question asked, how was life after this picture? Funny I laughed at this very one question but sadly something dripped from my eye shortly after. I had looked around the room I was sitting in and saw all the multifaceted items that I was involved in. Soon after acknowledging these items my answer hit me. Complex Dzy… Smile: grin, beam, smirk I thought of you today while standing in the mirror. Funny thing is while thinking of you I saw you looking at with a grin on your face. You always used to look at me like that when I was with you. You never let life take that look away from you. It was never hidden or suppressed when around others. I remember one day I was a little upset and you knew it. I carried a sad look on my face and didn’t speak to nobody about it. You pulled me to the side and just looked at me with a smirk and that right there changed everything. Now that your gone the grin you gave me is still here as of now because everywhere I go I carry your beautiful smile. Dzy More to come stay tuned for the next part....Word of the Day Keep sending words!!! If I didnt get to you I will Big Shouts To Lydia Cotton!!!! Thanks
Untitled:
My eyes drip like wounds that were on Jesus' body. I yell out from the top of my lungs, but still I can't be saved. My neck is held against the wall keeping me focus on the picture in front of me. Why can't I close my eyes? Why can't I watch something different?
My stomach turns over and over like being sick on a ship. I'm thristy for rest. I feel the white stuff growing on my lips. My bones pop out of place as I fight to try to overcome. I wait for them to break cause once that happens I'll be done.
These are my last cries and these are my last shouts. Soon enough I'll have no air to due to the punctures in my lungs from my broken ribs. The pressure got too tight so they had to give. While they break I'm forced to feel every last measure of pain in my body while I lay here unable to move. My spine just gave out and brain fluid I lose. Blood vessles in my eye exploded due to lack of life that remains. If I were to title this, "Dying Slow" would be it's name.......
Dzy
www.facebook.com/rundzy
www.Twitter.com/Dr_Dzy
skype: Rundzy
www.Twitter.com/Dr_Dzy
skype: Rundzy
These are.... FOREVER WORDS:
These words could never lie. There old but fresh brand new from him, bounce to me, now they fall on you. The words were spoken long time ago. When he hung his head at 33 years old. It was and still is the greatest thing that could ever happen to the son. Now that its 2010 still there is nothing new under the sun. Even though time has past isn't it amazing his love still last. Its what was said way before any of our time; even before you and my kind. Just think all this happen in one thought; than spoken into three words. In a blink of an eye. The globe, the sky, clouds were filled with all types birds. Waters from all over clash together just to make one sea. All because of those three words made it be. The light from glorious heaven made it seen that all the creation that was made was created into his theme. Into this kingdom this palace shared but his own; he put out his sweat, tears, and blood even brokens bones. I had a friend ask me why would a person put himself through so much just to gain so less. He didn't get no money, no cars, no houses, not even a woman to enjoy it with? Mm... I'd look at him and saw the opportunity to let my light shine even brighter. What a chance this was for these words to be lifted higher. Quickly before I'd open my mouth; I prayed God let it be your knowledge & wisdom flow through me just for your glory so this young man can know you better than just a story. Soon after I'd prayed. I'd started to telling him that first God is not man. 2nd there is no martials thing God could every gain because everything is his own. Even if you denied him your still the works of his creation. No houses was need because in his kingdom there are many mansion. What is the purpose of a car to him because he is already everywhere that the word existence is and even would exist. There is no need for him to be with a woman cuz when he comes back he will marry his church. But the ultimate reason why is; that he loves you so that the human mind can't bisect his ways. Each day his love is brand new and keeps me happy with a new praise. He told me that he will never forsake me in other words turn his back on me. If I'll follow him he'll put me where I ought to be. The first will be last and the last shall be first. The more & more he spoke the heavier my thirst. He told me he could never lie and his word will forever be with us. Even on that day he comes to save us. These word were spoken over 2000 years ago. It was the same than as of now plus the time we have left to go. His word are unchanging just as his ways. He is the same God back than, today, and always.
Messages of the King Spoken
Sir. Dzy
Dzy's Dict. of Words & Meanings
Aw: Used to express a jubilant emotion, mild disappointment, gentle entreaty, or real or mock sympathy or sentiment I called you the other day just to tell you how much I care. With the words I use to express my inner feelings; it showed you how one person with so much heart can truly benefit your life. I told you; by these hands I will hold and defend the most important object you carry. In these hands you placed your heart so with that; every inch of my soul will I will respect and protect this gift from heave with all means. After I to you this very one statement the only thing you could say is Awwwww! Drama: show, crisis, fuss, scene Drama is nothing more than a action displayed by a person due to a personal issue. When shared between two; the outcome is a never ending affect until one’s drama over rages the other. Once that happens; who is really the one hurting. Dzy Soul: spirit, (God’s breath), character You ask me to make a sacrifice daily but what can I give you that you don’t already have. I’m at the altar daily but what can I give that you will value. You said my money is not enough. You said my property isn’t big enough but I own land and every state. What is it that you want from me…… Your soul….. Dzy Faithful: true, believe, loyal, devoted I gave my life to you and all you asked was that I stand by your side. Day 1 you told me to walk left and so I did. Day 2, you told me to walk right and so I did. Day 3, you said walk straight so I continue to walk upright and not looking back at day 1. All this time you blessed me just to continue walking in your glory. You showed me that everything that I used to worry about past away. It doesn’t matter what you tell me to do because every step I’ll stay faithful to you. Dzy Puzzle: a problem difficult to solve or resolve challenging mentally I watch this world fall out of place with a puzzle look on my face. These situations we're dealing with are very challenging for each individual to deal with (for those who are on their own). Mentally we struggle day to day to make the right move due to the position our government is in. Piece by piece we part this puzzle together looking to view an image of the world at its full potential but puzzled we stand still wondering when the next piece will bring us peace. Dzy
Embrace:
to clasp, to enclose (hug), Acceptance we’re in a world were embracing each other is a big time need. At this very moment someone who was on top is now on the bottom and is fighting to overcome. What other way can we help this man or women by embracing not just them but the situation as well. We were put here as one body. If I can't hold an item with one hand allow me to use both to uplift the item. If we can enclose the world’s issues together then all will be well. Embrace the moment now before the moment EMBRACES you... Dzy Grace: elegance, kindness, blessing Just when I opened my eyes this morning, a gift that was giving yesterday became new to me. Early in the morning I heard the birds sing a sweet melody of praise. I’d walked outside and saw the beauty of the sun claiming over the clouds. I felt the breeze blow across my face while the trees move with the wind. I stand in this one spot and feel the morning dew hit my ear from the rooftop of my house. I walk back into the house and suddenly I taste the satisfying smell of pancakes (sorry fat moment) and I really notice that all my senses well still working. What more was needed to say to confirm the grace that I had awaken to. Dzy Complex: difficult, complicated, compound I sit looking at a picture of an old memory and only two questions sits with me. The first question asked, what was life like before this picture? Easy I’d thought this answer would be but difficult for me to reply. The second question asked, how was life after this picture? Funny I laughed at this very one question but sadly something dripped from my eye shortly after. I had looked around the room I was sitting in and saw all the multifaceted items that I was involved in. Soon after acknowledging these items my answer hit me. Complex Dzy… Smile: grin, beam, smirk I thought of you today while standing in the mirror. Funny thing is while thinking of you I saw you looking at with a grin on your face. You always used to look at me like that when I was with you. You never let life take that look away from you. It was never hidden or suppressed when around others. I remember one day I was a little upset and you knew it. I carried a sad look on my face and didn’t speak to nobody about it. You pulled me to the side and just looked at me with a smirk and that right there changed everything. Now that your gone the grin you gave me is still here as of now because everywhere I go I carry your beautiful smile. Dzy More to come stay tuned for the next part....Word of the Day Keep sending words!!! If I didnt get to you I will Big Shouts To Lydia Cotton!!!! Thanks
Untitled:
My eyes drip like wounds that were on Jesus' body. I yell out from the top of my lungs, but still I can't be saved. My neck is held against the wall keeping me focus on the picture in front of me. Why can't I close my eyes? Why can't I watch something different?
My stomach turns over and over like being sick on a ship. I'm thristy for rest. I feel the white stuff growing on my lips. My bones pop out of place as I fight to try to overcome. I wait for them to break cause once that happens I'll be done.
These are my last cries and these are my last shouts. Soon enough I'll have no air to due to the punctures in my lungs from my broken ribs. The pressure got too tight so they had to give. While they break I'm forced to feel every last measure of pain in my body while I lay here unable to move. My spine just gave out and brain fluid I lose. Blood vessles in my eye exploded due to lack of life that remains. If I were to title this, "Dying Slow" would be it's name.......
Dzy
www.facebook.com/rundzy
www.Twitter.com/Dr_Dzy
skype: Rundzy
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