UNREACHABLE
She screamed for help and I came to her rescue. I came and got as close as I can without fall off the mountain myself. She says she I don't want to fall so I stretch forth my hand in my attempt to save her. She looks up at me and says no I dont want you. I shout give me your hand I don't want you to fall. I notice her hands slipping off the rock as she sways away from my hand. She screams, help!!! Give me your damn hand please as I beg her. No get the fuck away from me. Leave me alone; she tells me. Im lost and Im confused. I thought she wanted to be saved or rescued from this fall. This fall is so deep you can't even see the ground. Don't do this to yourself. Stop being foolish no one else is here to save you. I start to slip off from my stances and become worried of if I will fall. Her hands slip even more and her strength weakens. I try to extend my hand one last time but still she refuses. As she slipping away I had no other choice but to watch... I don't want to see you fall; I told her. She simply said Dzy and I answered. Do me one last favor; yes anything I replied. Close your eyes first and so I did reaching my hand out praying that she would grab hold to me. And yet I wait... ... ...
Dzy LilBishop
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Left For Freedom
Left For Freedom...
I remember when it stop breating. I remember exactly when I felt it's last pump. The setting was dark and all I could feel was the wind blowing above me while my window was shut. I wanted to cover myself but my body response wouldn't act.
Im laying here with my eyes close but seeing me fade away into the abyss of death. Where are you I try asking but my mouth doesnt move. I try to make myself believe that you will be here soon to save me but I don't even feel you next to me. Get up, get up, get up as I shout to my body and limbs but they ignore me. I can't feel my legs and my arms become stif. I feel my chest rise but it gets slower and slower, less and lesser. Why won't you help me?
I know that your near and that you see me unable to awake. Shake me or push me over! Your standing there from a distance and I feel your presence. Why do you refuse? I feel as if I'm bond by chains or held against my will but from what and for what reason? Shhh stop talking. There's not much air left which also means I'm running out of time. Dont do this to me please. What ever I done to you dont let me fade away. Don't let me die...
Wait! Don't leave me. Hello? Hello? I can feel your presence drift away. I start to go into panic as I feel my spirit departing. Crying on the inside not aware of the tears streaming on the outside. No don't leave me... I whisper lightly. I really need you as the words mumble softly out my mouth... I still... love you.... exhaling my last breath....
Now I stand here watching as they put this casket into the ground. I see my name written on it but I standing right here. They lower it into the ground but I wonder if they notice they forgot the body. Hey!! I shout and they ignore me. Not this shit again! Hello!!! I scream closer to them but they are not even phased by the tension in my voice... I jump onto the casket to open it but it's locked. No No No!!! Stop! Stop!!! Please just stop! I yell and I shout. I shout and I yell. Still no response as they throw dirt on me...
It must be so as I tell myself standing in belief. As the continue to throw dirt I lay down on my very own casket repeating the words; She let me me die... As the dirt is starting to cover me I just submitted to it. If I must die kill all of me and leave nothing behind. Just as my body my spirit was buried. Never did I leave the hole i was put in. Never shall I live again. I died twice that day all for a good reason. My spirit was set free; off as it go. But it die aswell with the reason it will never know...
Dzy LilBishop
I remember when it stop breating. I remember exactly when I felt it's last pump. The setting was dark and all I could feel was the wind blowing above me while my window was shut. I wanted to cover myself but my body response wouldn't act.
Im laying here with my eyes close but seeing me fade away into the abyss of death. Where are you I try asking but my mouth doesnt move. I try to make myself believe that you will be here soon to save me but I don't even feel you next to me. Get up, get up, get up as I shout to my body and limbs but they ignore me. I can't feel my legs and my arms become stif. I feel my chest rise but it gets slower and slower, less and lesser. Why won't you help me?
I know that your near and that you see me unable to awake. Shake me or push me over! Your standing there from a distance and I feel your presence. Why do you refuse? I feel as if I'm bond by chains or held against my will but from what and for what reason? Shhh stop talking. There's not much air left which also means I'm running out of time. Dont do this to me please. What ever I done to you dont let me fade away. Don't let me die...
Wait! Don't leave me. Hello? Hello? I can feel your presence drift away. I start to go into panic as I feel my spirit departing. Crying on the inside not aware of the tears streaming on the outside. No don't leave me... I whisper lightly. I really need you as the words mumble softly out my mouth... I still... love you.... exhaling my last breath....
Now I stand here watching as they put this casket into the ground. I see my name written on it but I standing right here. They lower it into the ground but I wonder if they notice they forgot the body. Hey!! I shout and they ignore me. Not this shit again! Hello!!! I scream closer to them but they are not even phased by the tension in my voice... I jump onto the casket to open it but it's locked. No No No!!! Stop! Stop!!! Please just stop! I yell and I shout. I shout and I yell. Still no response as they throw dirt on me...
It must be so as I tell myself standing in belief. As the continue to throw dirt I lay down on my very own casket repeating the words; She let me me die... As the dirt is starting to cover me I just submitted to it. If I must die kill all of me and leave nothing behind. Just as my body my spirit was buried. Never did I leave the hole i was put in. Never shall I live again. I died twice that day all for a good reason. My spirit was set free; off as it go. But it die aswell with the reason it will never know...
Dzy LilBishop
What I Really Want to Say....
What I Really Want To Say
What you mean? Are you fucking kidding me?
Just like that huh.... Wow, you showing me something new.
No its not just the way it goes; Its not just something I have to deal with.
What you mean I dont have no choice. I made the choice to be with you so why dont I have a choice now.....
Dont act like you hurt now. Your the one making life decision.
Oh I believed it when you said it the first time. But now lets take a look at the facts.
I can go back to all the message and conversations we had and point out everything you told me.
You said it to me and I believe every fucking word that formulated. Every fucking thought processed.
What am I suppose to do with this love that was created between us two?
There isnt a storage room in the world that could store this love I have for you.
Look see there you go again... Ok so it dont matter and you done with it? I mean really?
So what is it then? What we going to do? (smh) So there is no more me and u or no us? Damn...
Oh you hit me with the we can be friends punchline...
No thats not good enough for me. And its shouldnt be something that you should be so quick to settle for.
I cant believe this. You loved me yesterday and today you like me as a friend?
Is this how all your relationships end? Love em, Fuck em, then like em? Do the big and expensive things then leave em?
Do you really hear the shit coming out your mouth right now? Is this how you really feel?
All this came up over night... Im sure your going to tell me it did and hope I believe that bullshit too.
Just like when you said you love me or when you said you would never leave me or when you said you wont let go of me.
If only you knew the true words that came into mind right now. No Im going to hold back from saying it. So you want to know? You really want to know!
If I could go back to when we first met; my first words would be
DONT FUCKING TALK TO ME!!!
If I could go back to when you first told me you love me I would say
FUCK YOUR FAKE ASS LOVE!!!
If I could go back and relive the moments when you shared your feelings with me; I would say
FUCK YOUR FEELINGS THEY DONT MEAN SHIT!!!
If I could go back to when you first touched me; I would say
DONT FUCKING TOUCH ME!!!
If I could go back to when you said you wanted to marry me; I would say
FUCK MARRYING YOU!!!!
If I could go back to when you said you wanted to have bare my seed; I would say
FUCK THAT BULLSHIT!!!
Now since you tell me this now and we being so honest.
Since you wanna be friends after all this time.
Since I have to less then 30 days to move out from you heart and return the keys back to its owner
Since I will never have anybody like you in my life ever again; Im going to say
FUCK YOUR HONESTY!!!
FUCK YOUR FRIENDSHIP!!!
FUCK YOUR HEART!!!
FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!!!
(....As he looks deep into the picture....)
Damn why cant I just let you go...
(as the tear drops on the picture)
(Curtains close)
Dzy LilBishop
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